Your Modern Husbands Roundup
Read, Reflect, and Smile
Every week I try to share around 6…7 posts (😊) to help couples manage money and the home as a team. Some are practical, others personal, but every one is written to make life as a team feel a little easier and a lot more connected. Below are quick summaries of the latest posts with links to the full reads if you want to dig in a little deeper.
It’s Time to Redefine the Gender Pay Gap, Here’s Why
Every year, headlines remind us that women earn less than men. In 2025, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that full-time working women earned 82 cents for every dollar earned by men, which reflects a reversal of progress to a now widening gap. That number is technically correct, but it tells only part of the story. The way we measure the gender pay gap has not evolved with how couples live and work today.
The statistic compares the median weekly pay of full-time working men and women, regardless of what they do for a living. It lumps together teachers and lawyers, nurses and software engineers, without asking a more important question:
Why do women so often end up in lower-paying work in the first place?
Critics sometimes argue that the gender pay gap reflects “choices” women make. They say women are more likely to pick flexible jobs, part-time schedules, or careers that allow them to be home for children. Take for instance this response to a LinkedIn comment I made in which I simply shared Dr. Goldin’s Nobel Prize awarding winning research on the gender pay gap:
While pointing out that on average, women tend to select lower paying careers is true in a surface-level sense, it completely misses the point. The problem is not that women choose these paths.
“The problem is that our economy makes these paths the only viable option for many working mothers.”
The Missing Story Behind the Pay Gap
When a child is born, someone must handle the appointments, the childcare, and the emergencies that interrupt the workday. In most families, that person is still the mother. If one parent’s job is inflexible and the other offers some wiggle room, logic dictates that the parent with flexibility will absorb more caregiving. Over time, this division cements itself into habit, career trajectory, and income potential.
Women often take jobs that pay less but provide more predictability or part-time options. They shift into roles that allow them to leave work at five, skip weekend travel, or handle after-school pickups. You can use the USA Facts Interactive (displayed below) to see how the gender pay gap widens in more “conservative and traditional states” such as Utah, where the gap is 73 cents on the dollar.
These are not signs of lesser ambition. They are acts of service to their families. The consequence is that over a lifetime, those trade-offs compound into smaller paychecks, fewer promotions, and smaller retirement accounts.
Men, meanwhile, remain in jobs that reward long hours and constant availability. These “greedy jobs,” as Harvard economist Dr. Claudia Goldin calls them, pay disproportionately more for long and inflexible schedules. Goldin’s research earned her a Nobel Prize in 2023, and for good reason. Her findings reveal how much workplace structure—not personal preference—drives the gender pay gap.
Money Together: How Couples Can Navigate Finances, Power, and Partnership
When it comes to managing money in a marriage, the math is the easy part. It’s the emotions, habits, and hidden histories that complicate things. That’s the core message of Money Together, the new book by Heather and Douglas Boneparth—and the focus of their conversation with us on the Modern Husbands Podcast.
Heather, a former corporate attorney turned wealth management professional, and Douglas, a longtime financial advisor, joined our advisory board at Modern Husbands because they’ve lived what they teach. Their insights go far beyond spreadsheets and savings accounts. They explore what happens when roles shift, when resentment builds, and when money becomes more than just numbers—when it becomes about identity, security, and power.
27 Frugal Date Night Ideas for the Fall Season
When the air turns crisp and the leaves start to change, date nights feel a little more magical and a lot more affordable. Fall is the perfect time to get creative, slow down, and reconnect without breaking the bank. Whether you’re newlyweds or 20 years in, these budget-friendly ideas will help you make memories that cost little but mean a lot.
Check out 27 frugal date night ideas for the fall season.
New Event Announcement: How Men Can Support Their Partner’s Career
Location: Zoom and YouTube Live
Duration: 60 minutes
Time and Location: December 5th from noon-1:00 pm ET
Registration: Click here to register
Panelists
Dr. David Smith, Johns Hopkins Carey Business School, author of Good Guys and Athena Rising
Dr. Corinne Low, Wharton School, author of Having It All
Paul Sullivan, Founder of The Company of Dads and former New York Times columnist
About the Event
Research shows that when men step up as true partners at home and at work, couples are happier, healthier, and more successful. This conversation offers practical insights that help couples thrive together.
This 60-minute conversation brings together three thought leaders reshaping what it means to be an ally, a father, and a partner. Together, they will unpack how men can actively support their partner’s career while building stronger, more equitable relationships at home.
Mastering Introductory APRs: A Smart Borrower’s Guide to Avoiding Costly Credit Card Mistakes
When used wisely, introductory APR offers can be a powerful tool for managing debt or making strategic purchases. But if misunderstood or misused, they can backfire—leaving you buried under interest charges.
As a national financial education expert and Accredited Financial Counselor®, I’ve seen how easy it is for everyday people to fall into this trap. Here’s what you need to know to stay ahead.
What Men Can Learn from Having It All by Dr. Corinne Low: Book Review
When “Having It All” Became “Doing It All”
Every so often, a book lands on your desk that makes you stop and say, “I wish I’d read this twenty years ago.”
For me, that book was Having It All: What Data Tells Us About Women’s Lives and Getting the Most Out of Yours by Dr. Corinne Low.
Low is an economist at the Wharton School, brilliant, data-driven, and refreshingly candid about her own messy journey. In the opening scene, she’s pumping milk in an Amtrak bathroom, crying because she’ll miss putting her baby to bed. It’s the kind of moment that feels small and ordinary but represents something enormous: a generation of women pushed to the brink by impossible expectations.
Low’s premise is simple but radical. Women aren’t failing to “have it all.” They’re living inside systems that were never designed for them to succeed.
As the founder of Modern Husbands, I spend my days helping dual-career couples manage money and the home as a team. Reading Low’s book was like putting data behind every conversation I’ve had with a couple sitting on the edge of burnout.
This isn’t just a book for women. It’s a book for men who want to understand what their partners are up against and how we can be part of the solution.
Here are the biggest lessons I took away and a brief review of her book.
10 Ways Couples Can Strengthen Marriage by Supporting Each Other’s Friendships
The most significant finding from Harvard’s long-running study on adult development is that good relationships are the strongest predictor of a happy and healthy life.
I attended The Ohio State University and Penn State University football game with dear friends in early November. We may live in different areas of the country now, but we always find ways to stay connected in person. The time we spend isn’t just joyful in the moment, but the memories of it pay dividends for a lifetime.
I’m not sure if there’s research on this, but it’s been my experience that when exceptional men like these surround you, they also serve as a source of inspiration for who they are as professionals, husbands, and parents.
But as you ponder how you can continue to, or begin to, prioritize the friendships in your life, of equal importance is supporting your spouse to do the same. And when you do, ensure that you’ve “got it” at home -- no calls or text messages asking for help.
3 Ideas to Set Up Your Spouse for Success
1. Own the Home Front While They’re Away
The greatest gift you can give your spouse before a trip with friends is peace of mind. Handle meals, school logistics, bills, and household tasks proactively. The Fair Play method calls this taking full ownership—from conception to completion—so your spouse can relax knowing things at home are handled.
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